We spend much of our lives anticipating events that are about to happen.  This doesn’t seem to help us with anticipatory grief and our understanding of what is about to happen.  What many widows don’t understand is that they begin to grieve the loss of their spouse the moment they learn their loved one is dying. You may feel intense sadness knowing that someone you love is dying and you may fear what life will be like without them.  It helps if you keep talking to them about how you feel, say things you want said.  Talk about the things you are thankful for, express your regrets, frustrations, guilt, fear and anger. Take time to care for yourself and accept all the offers of help you get.  If your religious then draw on the resources of your faith.  Find some quiet time for yourself to meditate or just take a walk by yourself to reflect on anticipatory grief. At some point in our lives each one of us will face anticipatory grief.  But for all that, it’s one of the least understood emotions.  The more of ourselves we have invested in another person, the more deeply we feel the loss.  It’s like we are beginning to feel the loss of a part of ourselves.  We can’t really start to find our way back until we accept that the loss is coming. Grieve is a painful and frightening process that each woman travels in her own unique way.  There is no proper, normal way to handle anticipatory grief.  A quiet person may respond with increased quietness.  An efficient person may become even more efficient.  Some will clean the house from top to bottom, while others won’t be able to move off the couch.  We act the way we do because that is our way of handling our anticipatory grief. Be open to finding strength in your faith, friends, family and your own life experiences.  Your heart is starting to break apart and there are no words of comfort that will help.  Spend this time with your loved one, speak of your memories, of your love and get all the hugs you can.