Widows tend to notice and remember negative aspects more readily than positive or neutral aspects.  They are also more likely to see their life as negative and I get that.  This is where depression medicines start to look appealing to us widows. If you experience intense depression your therapist is likely to recommend a psychiatrist or physician who will evaluate whether or not depression medicines will be helpful.  Some widows worry about the long term effects of antidepressant medication and their physician can help with all the pros and cons. Different antidepressant medications may be prescribed depending on the particular symptoms you have and the specific effect you and your physician want to achieve.  The side effects may include dry mouth, drowsiness and weight changes. Antidepressants can restore the brain to a more healthy balance and you may need it for a few years.  Although some widows benefit from taking antidepressants longer, it should always be done with careful consults with your physician. It is important for you to follow your physician’s directions in taking and stopping antidepressant medications. Doses sometimes need to be increased or decreased slowly to achieve the desired effects. When we are depressed we imagine that our future is bleak and negative.  This anticipation of negatively is called “hopelessness”.  A negative attitude towards the future, in its most extreme hopelessness can contribute to thoughts of suicide.  The core belief may be that “I’m worthless” or “I’m un-loveable” or “Life will never get any better than this.”  Almost all widows who are grieving think these types of self-critical thoughts at one time or another.  These thoughts are damaging because they contribute to low self-esteem and block our healing. If you feel traumatized and vulnerable stop and ask yourself “What if?”  That question will take you out of fear, to where you can make a conscious choice.  “What if” I exercise three times a week?  “What if” I sell my home?  “What if” I stay and get the maintenance support I need? It is often helpful to increase activities that give us a sense of accomplishment.  When we do activities that are enjoyable or that accomplish something, we usually feel better.  These activities need not be expensive or time consuming.  They are often everyday enjoyable events that we can do, but sometimes we need the helping hand proper depression medicines can give us.