I have days where negative thoughts keep coming into my mind.  Thoughts like, ‘I’ll never lose my extra pounds and I’ll never accomplish my dreams’. We all have negative thoughts but we don’t have to dwell on them.  We are told that we simply have to change our focus, like changing the radio station we are listening to.  I wish it was that simple, but while grieving our mental health is already weakened.  It’s important to keep repeating to yourself, ‘I am in control and I don’t have to listen to negative thoughts’.  It’s true, you don’t have to accept or endure negative thoughts. Instead, I’ve personally changed my negative thoughts to, ‘I am healthy and I can accomplish my dreams’.  If you want to live a more positive life then you can’t focus on the negative – those thoughts just aren’t a match to positive living. When grieving, we need support but often someone does us wrong, and we think ‘Get even, Hold a grudge or Block them’.  These negative thoughts will poison your life.  Pay attention to your thoughts and guard your mind. Unfortunately, some of us have a bad habit of tuning into negative thoughts.  We are drawn to the drama they provide.  Don’t let this become you.  It’s hard enough while grieving to keep our emotions under control.  We don’t need to add fuel to the negatives by giving them our attention. If you see a couple you might have jealous thoughts such as, ‘Why do they still have each other? And it’s not fair.’  You may be drawn into negative thoughts of loneliness, but don’t get sucked into this.  Stop and focus on what you’re thinking – if it doesn’t serve you then focus on positives. If you keep your mind filled with positive thoughts, your grief will be easier to handle.  As a widow you will have setbacks and disappointments so you have to be especially on guard. Negative people are toxic so don’t accept their hurtful words about what you can’t do, what you should do and all the things they think you aren’t doing right.  Don’t allow their lies to become your negative thoughts.